Nothing major, major

This Blogger account, like my life, is inactive, almost to the point of being dead. But because I refuse to let it go, I update it sporadically :)

So, yes: MY LIFE IS DEAD. I've been on autopilot since last June, but because I have a lazy ass, I don't really mind. I actually enjoy having a routine at the moment. I wake up, go to school, go home, sleep. Sometimes, it's wake up, feel lazy, mull over whether or not I should go to school, decide not to go to school, play video games, then sleep. Yeah, THAT'S MY LIFE. An life of a girl on autopilot. To prove my point, I'm going to be honest: I haven't had a single picture taken since who-knows-when (I'm guessing July). Meaning: nothing memorable enough is happening to me to immortalize it in a picture.

And thinking of how I'm living my life atm makes me a bit tired; I don't want to go into philosophical stuffs (I hate that word so much) right now; but case in point, I know that I'm missing out on a lot. But I don't really care -_____- Oh god, how much more lazy can I get?

But I'm pretty happy! (Oh god... wait, I'm happy being mundane? =_=) What I'm saying is, life's good. It may lack activity, but it's really going smoothly. There are times when I have major, major problems, but my optimism always gets me through. In fact, I'm so surprised at how optimistic I am! When a problem comes, my first thought is always "It's okay, (insert positive statement here)". I swear, I really surprise myself with my optimism. I might surprise you, too. (I noticed that I often freak people out with what I say. That's out of topic, of course - just sharing.)

So that's pretty much it! As I said, I have no pictures to show you, heheh. Oh, and one last thing:

Naiinis na ako dun sa bansang namatayan ng walong sibilyan. Nung inabuso o pinatay ba nila yung mga Pilipinong nagtatrabaho sa kanila, umimik ba tayo? Naging demanding ba tayo? Nung may 3 turistang Pinoy na namatay sa bansa nila, uminit ang ulo natin sa galit? Hindi, di ba? O, bakit ganyan sila ngayon? Bakit lahat tayo sinisisi? Sobrang pikon na pikon na ako sa kanila. Ayoko na magpunta sa bansa nila at baka insultuhin lang nila ako't tapunan ng passport.

Ngayon lang ako nainis na ganito, kasi parang ang bingi't bulag nila. Hinahayaan nilang makonsumo sila ng sarili nilang galit.

Platonic Affection

An amusing thing about my friends and I is that we’re never affectionate.

I know how some girls frequently say “I love you” to their girl friends, plus give them long hugs and some sweet words. They may kid around every once in a while, but you could still feel that atmosphere of love around them.

This applies minimally to my clique. Since we’re birds of a feather, it translates to one thing: we’re very palengkera. We’re loud, barbaric, shameless, and a tad bit uncivilized (which, occasionally, makes me very embarrassed to be with them). We laugh all the time, and we’re very sneaky and street-smart. You may think I’m exaggerating - yes, we do conform to society’s rules, but we put a twist to it. Which, as I pointed out, makes us a bit uncivilized.

You may sense an air of affection around us - but not without sensing the air of clownishness first. See, we won’t hug one another unless it’s time to go home, and we rarely say “I love you” to one another. Both things, if done at random moments, make us laugh and cringe. We started out as a manly group of girls, and we’re still that bro towards one another.

But it’s pretty obvious that they’re going to be my friends for life.

Photo by Tine Cruz.

Votes for the future

A while ago, my parents and I went to the basketball court 3 blocks away so that we could vote. At 8 AM, the court was already filled with people waiting to get a ballot; I thought we were going to take long, but in an hour, my parents and I were done - all from casting our votes, to having an indelible ink put on our right point finger.

I heard in a TV show that we Filipinos are amongst the most suspicious when it comes to the elections. And why wouldn't we be, when over the past century, we have been cheated on over and over again? Yup, I have a nagging fear that something might not work out, and that we wouldn't get honest results. But as romantic as it may sound, I believe that everything happens for a reason. Whatever results this elections would bring, it I think would be the best outcome - maybe not for the present, but definitely for the future.

The next 6 years of my life are crucial - it's when I graduate, get a job, and achieve my dreams of travelling and trying out everything there is out there. The government plays a part in helping me do so, as the country's economic status affects how I'm going to live everyday for the next 6 years. I just hope that, if ever things wouldn't progress that much in this near future, it will be by the time I have children. So that they may enjoy a good life.

Befriending

When I was younger, I was very picky with whom to put in my circle of friends. If I find you too weird, too introverted, too cool, even, then you're out. I wanted my friends to be on my 'level', who had the same personality as I did. That way, I wouldn't have a hard time understanding them, and vice versa.

I've changed this way of thinking. Not because I've matured, but because I've experienced being rejected, too. Not super dramatic rejection, okay! :)) There were just times when I felt out of place, because people had standards I couldn't live up to - pretty similar to what I had going on then, when I was picky on whom to befriend.

Although I don't think being choosy is due to immaturity, but about us wanting to find our place in the world. We want to be with people who are like us so that we could observe how they act, think, and feel. This way, we have a better understanding of who we are and what we want.

But now, I find my place in the world by befriending everyone; after all, each and every one of us has something to offer. Why limit ourselves to those whom we could easily relate to when there are many people who could teach us a thing or two? :)

Ambitions

In the near future, I'm going to live in a different country - alone - for maybe 3 months. Such span of time is enough for me to see the sights, smell the many different aromas, and expose myself to a whole new culture. My college grades aren't the best and are pulling my hopes of achieving such dreams down, but I believe that if I could just shake the fear off, I'd be opened up to a world of possibilities.

_{Img via.}

Jeje People

I noticed how there's a massive anti-jejemon army in social networking sites such as Facebook and (the outdated) Friendster. Check around some more and you'll see other sites whose members are against the jejemons, too, like Tumblr, and even Blogger.

(Oh, in case you're unaware, jejemons are people who tYpE lYk dIs eHehE (^^,) I'm not sure how they got their name - probably because they don't laugh like eHehE anymore, but jEjEJe, instead.)

In my opinion, there's a limit to how people can exercise their freedom of speech. Yes, you can state how irritated you are by people who don't take into account proper grammar, spelling, and syntax, but you can't really judge, insult, or worst, fight them over their jEJe cApS. Come on, people. We're all much better than that.

These jejemons are still people. They eat, breathe, take a dump, experience old things and new things, experience hardships... in short, they're like us and we're like them. We're all equals.

And now, I know this doesn't apply to everyone, but wasn't there a time when we kind of typed like that, too? Maybe when we were in elementary, when that was the common way of texting our peers. Maybe we didn't use jEJe cApS, but I'm pretty sure we overused the word 'po', such as in "kumain ka na po ba? ^^" or "may kwento po ako sayo!" That was our standard; that standard still applies to other people. It's their comfortable way of expression. Do you want someone to, of the blue, disrespect you just because they don't like the way you express yourself?

Maybe education screwed us up, because many of us think that these jeje people are of a lower level than us. Come on, since when did typing improperly, mixed with the occasional baduy (which is subjective) ways of expression, equaled to being a lowlife?

These people are just doing their thing, very much like you and me. If you go out of your way just so you could insult them, then it's time to think about who really is of a lower level than the other.

Sublimation

You know you're special to me when I start making art for you. I draw you, then present it in the most surprising way possible, like turning my rendition of you into a bookmark and giving it to you when you least expect it.

But you know you're really, really special when I start writing about you. AND NO I DON'T MEAN STALKER-LIKE WRITING, but more of a fiction-ish essay expressing everything I can't express in real life. So far, only two people have been special enough for me to write about them. See here: 1, 2

Only two people, but a third one might come up soon; I feel like I'm going to burst if I keep my emotions pent up like this. I do spend more than usual amount of time with my friends this summer so that I could feel good, but I can't mask the loneliness forever, now, can't I? Writing will be my form of release.

OH DUDE SUMMER IS SO BAD FOR ME

I AM SO EMO

THE ONLY THING MISSING TO COMPLETE MY WHOLE EMO LOOK IS A CUTTER XDDD

I'm still the eternal optimist, though. See, I sublimate my pain and turn it into something useful and positive! That's the way mature people handle it! XD

Hurrah, I'm alive!

Hurrah! I've opened my blog again! And not because I want to be as famous as Xiaxue, but because I need an outlet for my feelings (or ffff-eelings, as some put it). That or I just want to be happy by being silly, since you know... when I'm bored, I end up thinking of emo stuff, then I just want to slash my wrists and die D: (LOL I'M JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE LAST 2. I love life!)

So far, my summer 2010 is spent jogging, badminton-ing, listening to music, playing with my iPod applications, naming my boobs (Bouba and Kiki, hahaha), surfing the net, missing people, and bonding with my brothers. I'm supposed to be squeezing my creative juices, as I have planned to since forever, but I'M HAVING A HUGE ART BLOCK (a more appropriate term would be art laze) and I can't even gather the energy to extend my arm, get Parker (my tablet) from the drawer, and start drawing D: WHY? AM I THIS SAD? D:

Oh, oh! I have a great story to tell my old Blogger friends (you know who you guys are!). Do you guys have my YM address? I need your reactions and opinions XD

Going Private

So I've been contemplating on whether or not I should make my journal private. I want to write again - and not have comments and responses as motivation to continue doing so. My head's an intellectual (LOL) mess; it needs so much exercise and sharpening right now, and foregoing writing isn't going to help me solve the problem.

So maybe a week from now, I'll make Etcutme private. I'm not sure how long it'll stay that way - whenever I feel like I may want to be as famous as Xiaxue, then I'll definitely open this to the public sphere of the internet XD

You can still contact me on the ff sites:
FormSpring | Facebook | Blogger | Plurk | Tumblr | Multiply

Yay see you <3