Befriending

When I was younger, I was very picky with whom to put in my circle of friends. If I find you too weird, too introverted, too cool, even, then you're out. I wanted my friends to be on my 'level', who had the same personality as I did. That way, I wouldn't have a hard time understanding them, and vice versa.

I've changed this way of thinking. Not because I've matured, but because I've experienced being rejected, too. Not super dramatic rejection, okay! :)) There were just times when I felt out of place, because people had standards I couldn't live up to - pretty similar to what I had going on then, when I was picky on whom to befriend.

Although I don't think being choosy is due to immaturity, but about us wanting to find our place in the world. We want to be with people who are like us so that we could observe how they act, think, and feel. This way, we have a better understanding of who we are and what we want.

But now, I find my place in the world by befriending everyone; after all, each and every one of us has something to offer. Why limit ourselves to those whom we could easily relate to when there are many people who could teach us a thing or two? :)

Ambitions

In the near future, I'm going to live in a different country - alone - for maybe 3 months. Such span of time is enough for me to see the sights, smell the many different aromas, and expose myself to a whole new culture. My college grades aren't the best and are pulling my hopes of achieving such dreams down, but I believe that if I could just shake the fear off, I'd be opened up to a world of possibilities.

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Jeje People

I noticed how there's a massive anti-jejemon army in social networking sites such as Facebook and (the outdated) Friendster. Check around some more and you'll see other sites whose members are against the jejemons, too, like Tumblr, and even Blogger.

(Oh, in case you're unaware, jejemons are people who tYpE lYk dIs eHehE (^^,) I'm not sure how they got their name - probably because they don't laugh like eHehE anymore, but jEjEJe, instead.)

In my opinion, there's a limit to how people can exercise their freedom of speech. Yes, you can state how irritated you are by people who don't take into account proper grammar, spelling, and syntax, but you can't really judge, insult, or worst, fight them over their jEJe cApS. Come on, people. We're all much better than that.

These jejemons are still people. They eat, breathe, take a dump, experience old things and new things, experience hardships... in short, they're like us and we're like them. We're all equals.

And now, I know this doesn't apply to everyone, but wasn't there a time when we kind of typed like that, too? Maybe when we were in elementary, when that was the common way of texting our peers. Maybe we didn't use jEJe cApS, but I'm pretty sure we overused the word 'po', such as in "kumain ka na po ba? ^^" or "may kwento po ako sayo!" That was our standard; that standard still applies to other people. It's their comfortable way of expression. Do you want someone to, of the blue, disrespect you just because they don't like the way you express yourself?

Maybe education screwed us up, because many of us think that these jeje people are of a lower level than us. Come on, since when did typing improperly, mixed with the occasional baduy (which is subjective) ways of expression, equaled to being a lowlife?

These people are just doing their thing, very much like you and me. If you go out of your way just so you could insult them, then it's time to think about who really is of a lower level than the other.

Sublimation

You know you're special to me when I start making art for you. I draw you, then present it in the most surprising way possible, like turning my rendition of you into a bookmark and giving it to you when you least expect it.

But you know you're really, really special when I start writing about you. AND NO I DON'T MEAN STALKER-LIKE WRITING, but more of a fiction-ish essay expressing everything I can't express in real life. So far, only two people have been special enough for me to write about them. See here: 1, 2

Only two people, but a third one might come up soon; I feel like I'm going to burst if I keep my emotions pent up like this. I do spend more than usual amount of time with my friends this summer so that I could feel good, but I can't mask the loneliness forever, now, can't I? Writing will be my form of release.

OH DUDE SUMMER IS SO BAD FOR ME

I AM SO EMO

THE ONLY THING MISSING TO COMPLETE MY WHOLE EMO LOOK IS A CUTTER XDDD

I'm still the eternal optimist, though. See, I sublimate my pain and turn it into something useful and positive! That's the way mature people handle it! XD

Hurrah, I'm alive!

Hurrah! I've opened my blog again! And not because I want to be as famous as Xiaxue, but because I need an outlet for my feelings (or ffff-eelings, as some put it). That or I just want to be happy by being silly, since you know... when I'm bored, I end up thinking of emo stuff, then I just want to slash my wrists and die D: (LOL I'M JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE LAST 2. I love life!)

So far, my summer 2010 is spent jogging, badminton-ing, listening to music, playing with my iPod applications, naming my boobs (Bouba and Kiki, hahaha), surfing the net, missing people, and bonding with my brothers. I'm supposed to be squeezing my creative juices, as I have planned to since forever, but I'M HAVING A HUGE ART BLOCK (a more appropriate term would be art laze) and I can't even gather the energy to extend my arm, get Parker (my tablet) from the drawer, and start drawing D: WHY? AM I THIS SAD? D:

Oh, oh! I have a great story to tell my old Blogger friends (you know who you guys are!). Do you guys have my YM address? I need your reactions and opinions XD