Road trips and penises

10:40 PM - We just got home from Filinvest and we had one of the most surreal (well, for me it is) conversations in the car: my family just talked about... penises. And a bit of sex, which was opened up by my 5th-grader brother.

Bryan (B): Ayoko na na malaki yung bird ko.
Me (M): That's a blessing.
Mom (I): Oo, Bry, paglaki mo gugustuhin mong magkaroon ng malaking bird.
B: Bakit naman?
I: Eh basta. Lahat ng malalaki na, gusto malaki din yung bird.
B: Bakit, para sa asawa nila?
*Everyone laughs*
Dad (D): Kaya nga dapat hinihipuan natin yan eh, para lumaki.
Kyle (J): ...
B: Eh ayoko naman ng masyadong malaki noh! Mamaya habang nagsesex eh hindi na magkasya yung bird sa sobrang laki.
*Everyone laughs... except for me. I was all O____O;; OMG. I never opened up to my parents about sex!!!*
B: ...Baka naman ang magkasya lang yung ulo! Alam mo naman yun dad, diba? Yung ulo tsaka yung katawan?
D: Oo.
M: ...

Another...
D: ...Tapos nag-aral akong mabuti, scholar nga ako eh...
J: Dad?
D: Yes?
J: Kantahin mo nga yung 'Ako'y Timba'
*Boys laugh*
B: Oo nga, dad! Sige pag kinanta mo yun, pwede mo kaming hipuan!
D: Sige! Ako'y timba!
B&J: Pekpekpekpek!
D: Ako'y palanggana!
B&J: Pekpekpekpek!
D: Na ginagamit na pang-hugas ng inyong!
B&J: Pekpekpekpek!
M: *Rolls mad with laughter*
I: -____-;; You BETTER not sing that in school. Sa car at sa bahay pwede, pero sa school hindi.
J: Eh sa service?
I: No.
M: Bakit? Eh car din naman ang service diba?
I: Ainako... isa ka pa!

Crazy talk. There were more, though I already forgot. Tsk. My 5th-grader brother talking about sex...? He's either cool or tactless.